Barbie Movie Review: A Plastic World Not Quite Made in Paradise

by Lara Solace
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Hello my lovely techno babes and byte-sized friends, it’s your girl, Super Techno Girl, coming at you with a review of the Barbie movie. So, buckle up for this rollercoaster of technicolor fantasy, rhinestones, and oh so much pink!

I’ll start off by admitting that there was some definite nostalgia as I walked into this. I mean, who among us didn’t grow up brushing some Barbie doll’s hair, making her drive around in her cute little convertible, or donning her in the latest pink-glitter explosion from Mattel?

So, when I sat down with a big bowl of popcorn, eyes wide and ready for some retro fun, I was ready to get a taste of my childhood back. And to an extent, the Barbie movie delivers. The color palette is unapologetically bright and cheerful, and the animation is slick. The classic Barbie charm is there – every scene is like a window into a dream dollhouse.

But here’s where the problems start cropping in. The storyline, babes, oh, the storyline. We’ve been served a plot as flat as the cardboard box that Barbie comes in. It’s tired, predictable, and unfortunately, has about as much depth as a kiddie pool. The characters were just not fully realized and lacked the complexities that we’ve grown to appreciate in modern animated films. Even Barbie herself, our high-heeled heroine, felt like she could’ve been given more of a backbone.

Another hitch in our glittery ride is the missed opportunities for body positivity. In an era where we’re pushing for diverse representation, Barbie continues to exist in her unrealistic physique without any challenge or commentary. It’s a far cry from the real world, where every girl is different, and that’s what makes them beautiful.

Then we come to the humor, which sadly missed more often than it hit. The jokes were intended for the young ones, but we all know from Pixar and Dreamworks that it’s possible to have layered humor that appeals to all ages.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the Barbie movie had its moments. The glitzy outfits, fabulous settings, and Barbie’s unwavering optimism brought back warm memories of childhood playtimes. Younger viewers, particularly, might find Barbie’s bright and shiny world appealing, and there are positive messages about friendship and believing in oneself.

But for those of us with a little more life (and gaming) experience, the Barbie movie just doesn’t quite hit the mark. It’s a movie that could have taken us on a nostalgic trip down memory lane while reimagining Barbie for the 21st century, but it feels like a missed opportunity.

So, as much as it pains my eight-year-old self, I’d give the Barbie movie a 2.5 out of 5. It’s a candy-colored spectacle that doesn’t quite live up to its potential. But hey, if you’re after something that doesn’t require too much thought and will keep your little cousins entertained, then this might just be the ticket.

Stay fabulous, my friends, and remember – Super Techno Girl is all about keeping it real, even when we’re talking about plastic dolls! Until next time!

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